Stargazing

I gazed unto the dark horizons trying to figure out what’s happening in my life. I have been a very enthusiastic person about love but as the years waste away the moments of my life, I just realize how futile it is to not understand the language of the world- Love. What is love? Why do i live just for it?

I have a very simple dream really. I wanted to have my own family- a complete one with a husband and children who would love me very much too and think that I am very important. I dream of being a busy person who comes to work everyday and goes home to a family who needs my attention. I wanted to look everywhere and see all the simple joys in life that only being with them could bring me. I want to wake up next to my husband every single morning and hear my children say their prayers at night. I want them all near me every single moment of my day as long as I am alive. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have much to spend on fancy things. I don’t need an extravagant lifestyle that seems so ordinary to people with so much money. I want something no riches could buy- I want true love. And I want to be with them.

I think making lemonades on a very hot summer day is the best I could do together with my family. Seeing my children trying not to laugh even when their Daddy’s cake looks funny will be life’s best spectacle for me.

Seeing him deliciously munch away every pasta, casserole and roast I made is something I can not afford to exchange for anything else in the world. Hearing him snore next to me and finding my children cozily tucked in bed on a stormy night is such a reward that I would rather have than a plaque for being a punctual employee in all weathers.

But where is he? Where is the man who would be the foundation of my family that I love so much even when they don’t yet exist? Do my dreams not make him happy enough to forget everything just to be with me?